When a leprechaun gives you a pot of gold…

Yesterday afternoon, I ventured outward to the vast regions of the Mall of Georgia where I felt like a mouse being led by his nose to find cheese but never knowing where it is. Wife asked me to buy some lottery tickets for the Mega Millions Jackpot of over $350 million. I looked for a bank, but they were all on the other side of the road, and since I was in stop and go traffic for an hour, I did not feel it would be wise to try to cross and then get back in line. So, I failed to purchase any tickets. Of course, we didn’t win- but no one else did either.

Since the inception of the Georgia Lottery system, wife and I have spent more millions than we could count. See, the problem is that we don’t buy any tickets. Without a ticket, I feel it would be very difficult to win. This Friday, the jackpot is estimated at $476 million. Maybe, our family will win and I can buy the New iPad. Not because I need it, but just because it is NEW.

Recently, daughter had an assignment in school to explain how she would spend her pot of gold were a leprechaun, or “little elfer” as she used to call it, to give her one. Surprisingly, no big toys came first. Rather, she decided to give her money to charity off the top. BEFORE anything else. When I shared this with mother-in-law, she suggested wife and I could take credit for demonstrating to her how to use money. Several years ago, we took three mason jars and labeled them “Spend”, “Give”, and “Save.” This corresponded to giving her a weekly allowance for chores around the house.

When deciding on her allowance, wife and I had trouble determining how much we should give daughter. Was three dollars too much? Every time, we go on a date, wife reminisces with rose-colored glasses how she was paid $2/hour to watch a house full of kids. We pay $10, but the eighteen-year-old who watches our children deserves it. Anyone who watches son, a three-year-old nutter who puts a Tupperware on his head and with “full ramming speed” barrels into us, deserves their fair dues.

When we had daughter, wife and I used to lay in bed and drowse as she ate cheerios and drank milk from her sippey-cup on Saturday mornings. We are blessed both son and daughter sleep in; but lately, son has been waking himself up sometime after 6AM. The only hopeful benefit to this resides in the idea that he might actually nap.

For the last two summers while watching the kids during the day, several people suggested that I can get a lot of work around the house completed while son sleeps. Have these people had children?!?! When he goes down, I am lucky if I can drag myself to the blue chair and summon up the energy to turn on the TV with the remote. Speaking of remotes, I remember when they made a remote that would beep if ever lost. When son hides it under his bed for two days, a beep would have been nice. Alas, no beep.

Twenty years ago, we watched Jean-Luc Picard read his great works of literature on an electronic pad.  Today, we turn on our handheld devices and have the world of information and consumer goods delivered to us. It seems we can buy a device to do anything we want. With money. I guess I will go buy a ticket, or maybe even two, in an attempt to win more money than anyone needs. I better follow daughter’s advice, though, and give to charity first. I hate the expression, “Do as I say, not as I do…”

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