Why are there bars in space?

Well, wife finally left me. For the beach, that is. Wife took son and daughter to the beach while I remain in the ’05 to stay focused and get work done. So far, very little has been accomplished as I have already begun to procrastinate. I went out with a friend Saturday night and we stayed up way too late, thereby ruining my Sunday, as well.

Speaking of Sunday, FX network was showing the entire Star Wars saga back to back. I caught the tail end of Empire Strikes Back and the beginning of Return of the Jedi. I truly believe there was a commercial break every five minutes where the volume was cranked up so loud I had to mute them. Except for one which intrigued me. P90X assured me that were I to purchase the program, I would have rock hard abs and lose twenty pounds. Although interested, it might interfere with the hour plus of running, swimming, and biking I already do. I would love to get rid of the midsection but I think I would have to cut out desserts and adult beverages.

The greatest yet strange part of the USS Enterprise was Ten-Forward where officers and enlisted personnel could mingle over cocktails. These cocktails, of course, were made from synthehol, an intoxicating beverage that could lose its effect if the drinker needed to report to duty. The Battlestar Galactica also had a bar on board. No synthehol, there. In fact, I wonder how they kept having booze after four years traveling across the galaxy to find Earth. I just don’t think its a good idea for those we depend on for safekeeping our galaxy to be hungover when they fly the cap, a process involving flying around 45 ships in formation.

My weekend was uneventful but when I received a sitrep from wife about her journey, she explained that while at McDonald’s, son decided to wet his pants on the outdoor playscape.  she assured me no one noticed because it had rained the night before and there were puddles on the ground. Of rain, we hope. Not having clothes outside of the trunk, wife was forced to attempt to open the trunk of the starship Buick while daughter’s bike was on the bike rack. She said she propped the trunk on her head while she rummaged through son’s bags to find a clean pair of shorts and changed him there in the parking lot.

Son loves to be naked; in fact, it has become a bit of a problem. He wants to run around outside in full exposure of the neighbors’ view. He also wants to sit on the couch without any pants on and watch TV. I just don’t like to have cheeks to fabric without a safeguarding pair of underwear featuring (thank you, Pixar) Lightning McQueen. I wonder though, how many kids have been changed in the parking lot of any given road-trip restaurants. I call them road-trip because they exist only on highway exits. I truly question whether anyone from the local town visits them. Plus, they are always provide the slowest service.

I think the best plan for road trips is to pack a lunch and stop at one of the many rest areas that dot the landscape of the American interstate system. We started doing this last summer on the way to the beach and found a much more relaxing environment. If road trips with kids can EVER be relaxing. I sit here on my MacBook while family enjoys the beach. Wife said it would be a relief to get a break from the stressors of family life, but when I came home from the gym after swimming last night, it was just too quiet. I don’t think I need a break from family, maybe they need a break from me.

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  1. #1 by Stacie on April 2, 2012 - 4:27 pm

    We miss you something fierce!

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