Do not give son a lightsaber at bed

Don’t give your child a flashlight to have during bedtime. It just won’t work; Son spent half the time switching it on then off, and half the time banging it against the brass rails of his headboard. Lately, sons’ bedtime ritual has become…well, a little annoying. I bathe him, wife gets him ready for bed then reads him two, not three..not one, but TWO bedtime stories that he agonizes over for ten minutes. Finally, when wife leaves him, she is not two steps out of the door when the demands start.

“I want something to eat!”

“Mommy, momu, you forgot to shut the office door!”

“Why aren’t you in bed?!?!”

Now, many of these can be addressed from the downstairs couch, but simply yelling, “Go to BED!!!” does not work. Wife has tried. I have tried. Last night, I went into son’s bedroom and had a meaningful conversation regarding the use of a flashlight and its impending failure due to battery insufficiency. I don’t think I used these words, but when in doubt, I try to confuse the child until he commits to following directions. Bedtime, day 910, solved.

Mother-in-law arrived this morning and asked if son was still asleep. I replied that he was, so she attempted to wake him… “Just one more minute.” Even his grandmother had surprisingly little impact today.  Wife asked why son stays up so late when he is obviously tired. I truly believe it is because he can. Serious, though, what are the implications if he is tired the next day; it’s not like he doesn’t also get a daily nap. Some days the family gets the pleasure of son acting grumpy when he skips his nap. Not fun. You’d think he would go to bed early those days. Alas, not really.

I also noticed that son wakes up in the weirdest positions. I mean, he goes to bed with his head on the pillow and wakes up facing the wrong direction, half buried under his comforter. Sometimes he has his clothes on, other times he either changes them or decides to go commando. Lately, wife placed his clothes basket in his room, and he has elected to don new apparel to suit his whims.

As you may notice, I spend quite a bit of time discussing the antics of son, while barely mentioning daughter. Truthfully, she spends most of her days making good choices and causes little stress in the household. Tuesday, she brought home an economics packet and I looked over it and began to explain the importance of supply and demand when she stopped me and reminded me that, “You’re not MY teacher.” Gosh, I missed that memo. Nevertheless, I probably won’t stop trying. After all, when mother-in-law asked how she did on the CRCT, she told her, “I think I got them all right.” She had to learn it somewhere. Note: self-gratuitous compliment.

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