The Blue Stain Conundrum

Yesterday afternoon after work, I returned home to find the first floor bathroom seat stained blue. Not droplets of alien urine on the seat, but a dark stain that only bleach could get out. WTF?!?!  Wife and family scoured the house for its determinant cause never seemingly to come any closer to solving the mystery. I even called, at the behest of busy wife, mother-in-law to ask if her ass was blue. This sounds like a Sherlock Holmes (albeit a bad one) mystery, “The Case of the Blue Toilet Seat.” Maybe Moriarty left a clue that only Doyle’s famed detective could discover. Except the realty of Holmes is that Watson is the real crime-fighter.

Its always like that, I think. FDR had Eleanor, Reagan had Nancy, Picard had Riker..well, not really. Jean-Luc was the bomb diddy in TNG. Levar Burton (Geordi LeForge) tweeted that Star Trek: The Next Generation has a reunion tour planned across the country starting in Calgary this week. Wife asked good ol’ Wil for dates near the ’05. Recently, I watched an early episode of Entourage where Johnny Drama is accosted by adoring fans of his Viking Quest days. They begged him for an exclusive phot0 and one warrior cry. Unlike Sheldon, they did not get a restraining order against them. I will pre-order tickets and even drive several hours to catch the tour. I still have to decide whose autograph I want to get.


Made up for Footloose

This past weekend, daughter performed in a dance competition. Her team finished fourth because several girls made mistakes. Not daughter of course (pause for proud father moment} but kids DO make mistakes. Daughter gets extremely self-conscious when she makes mistakes. She did in her first competition, but she tries and practices hard. Last week, she had words with a girl at the studio. She admitted to the teacher what she had done, and that made us proud but we couldn’t understand why she would do that. The next day, she came home and wanted to have a friend come over to play. Wife said no and received some attitude, so I picked up the phone and talked to her. Eventually, she ran up to her room and fell asleep. Sound asleep (at 4:30pm). She never does this, so I guess she was tired.

Daughter is always the last one asleep at a slumber party. Kids will be nodding off during a late night movie and wife checks on daughter, she is wide awake until the movie ends. But, man, does she sleep. She is sound asleep two minutes after lights out. She also sleeps 11 to 12 hours a night on the weekend, 10 during the week. We should all be so lucky. This morning at 4:45 at the gym, an old man looked at me and started laughing because I was still half asleep. This guy was changing into his clothes and I was changing into my swimsuit.  What time did he get there? Someone at work asked me why I get up so early and I explained that since I need to be ready at 6am, I have to go earlier and earlier to get longer workouts in. Luckily, wife is extremely flexible.

So, back to the blue stain. Later that night, daughter was getting ready for her shower and I noticed her legs appeared bruised from top to bottom. No one really noticed until she tried to get out and wife saw that her legs were stained blue. Elbow grease and a little soap cleaned her up, but case solved. New pants = blue stain. Wife washed them immediately, by themselves obviously.

I have some friends that don’t understand why wife doesn’t do my laundry.  I am okay with it, actually. We used to share the duty until several years into our marriage, I attempted to do her wash on a regular basis. A few lost socks and stained panties led her to the conclusion that I should do my own, and she will do hers. Like I said, it works for me because I can live out of a basket for most of my clothes. Boxers don’t need ironing (even though my mother confessed one time that she ironed father’s tighty whiteys). Progress…

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  1. #1 by Wife on April 24, 2012 - 2:12 pm

    I want Levar Burton’s autograph, but only if he wears the visor while signing. I want Patrick Stewart to read me bedtime stories.

    If I give you more drawers, will you move out of the basket?

    • #2 by skischulze on April 24, 2012 - 2:15 pm

      No, basket works fine…

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