Playing with needles in the Frozen Tundra

Getting stuck with needles is no fun. Having 14 delicately placed acupuncture needles around my foot and one below the eye is Hellraiser bizarre. Although not my first look at holistic medicine, this was perhaps a unique experience. Within one hour, my foot was no longer swollen and most of the pain was gone. Snake oil? I don’t think so; whether it was psychosomatic or a real cure, it made me a believer.

Daughter’s bored. Always bored waiting for wife or I to entertain her. Either that or it’s in front of the TV or on her iPhone. Son has blessed us with the idea that taking a nap is no longer necessary. At three and a half, he is a handful. No matter what I do, by the end of the day, I want to collapse and hide in the bed with the AC on 70deg. Not that wife would allow that. She opens the window if it’s below 68deg at night. That’s okay, I love sweating on top of the covers.

Baseball. I love watching baseball; I even have the subscription that allows me to watch one anytime. How many have I seen since April? Two. The “me” time feels like “everyone else” time most days. Heck, it can’t be too bad. I am not teaching Literature to a bunch of barely-compliant teenagers. We have new neighbors from New Jersey and I bet they are trying to get used to the heat. See, in the ’05, summer is the Northeast’s winter. We enjoy December by biking and running, taking hikes. During the summer, we hide indoors and hope we don’t melt when we have to venture out.

Living in Wisconsin, 45min south of Green Bay, taught me that 15deg below zero is cold enough to freeze a keg in the garage. We had a New Year’s party in 1999 where our tap froze while we were trying to drink it. Imagine 30 half-drunk rugby players, all of whom want to get more drunk, but the beer is like being on a boat in the Pacific. “All the [beer] in the ocean, but not a drop to drink.” We swiftly ran hot water over it until it thawed and then brought the keg inside the kitchen. At the end of the party, the kitchen smelled like a Frat house on Saturday morning. Alas, with no pledges to clean up. There was this one guy, Spindley (not his real name- I don’t know if I ever really learned his real name), who stayed until 5AM. Finally, wife went upstairs, put her pajamas on and finally told him it was time to leave.

Speaking of hot water, over the last two years, I have had TWO water heaters blow up around Christmas. The first time, my dad lent me his beach house for the family to get away. We get there, no hot water. It took 24 hours to take a shower. This past christmas, brother-in-law and I were in the basement when he asked nonchalantly, “What is all that water over there?” I spent all night cleaning up water and had to wait for the plumber to come the next day. Again, 24 hours with no showers. Well, it’s not really that big of a deal to go without showers. Heck, I have only showered once this week. It’s washing the dishes. No dishwasher and grease does not cut well in icy cold tap water. We had to boil water to clean the Christmas dishes for 14 people. Luckily, I was stuck in the basement because I hate dishwashing.

The second full week of summer is half over and I wonder how long I can make it. Is it really wrong to envy wife at work?

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